UPDATE: The doctor's office already called me to let me know the MRI was normal! Praise the Lord.
Jacob's MRI only took about 20 minutes. Now for the waiting. Who's like to wait? I bet no one. This is why we have drive thrus, microwave, even mac n' cheese comes in instant form now! But sometimes the wait is necessary. It will probably be a few days before I get the test results and I am making a conscience decision to wait patiently. I read a blogger's post almost two years ago that I was reminded of this week. We have never met, in fact I have never commented on her blog, but I am going to share her link on waiting. It will be sooo worth a 2 minutes read. waiting by Stacy May
I will also be playing this song every morning. You will have to push pause on my blog's ipod over on the left!
"...And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14B
Background
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Irrational Fear
Almost everyone I know has something they fear or some type of phobia. Mine is bridges, which is called gephyrophobia. I do not like them. My worst fear is getting into a car accident on a bridge and going over into the water. While it is a fear, it does not keep me from crossing bridges, even though I have been known to take a ferry from Seattle to Bremerton instead of crossing the Narrows Bridge in Tacoma when it is windy or rainy. I haven't done that for over 15 years.
Jacob has been having headaches and dizzy spells since he had his 3rd concussion in June. I have been putting off taking him to the doctor in hopes that the problem would stop with time. Well, it has gotten to the point where I could not avoid it anymore and I am forced to deal with a secret fear. The doctor has ordered a brain MRI to see what is going on and to RULE OUT the possibility of a Chiari Malformation, which can be genetic and why I had brain surgery five years ago. And then the secret was out! When the doctor told me we needed to do the MRI, I could feel the fear taking over and he could tell I wasn't comfortable with the idea. I absolutely do not want any of my children to have this problem. Back when I was diagnosed and we discovered it can be genetic, Jason and I discussed it and agreed we would never want to have the kids tested unless they were showing symptoms and now here we are.
I have gotten very little sleep this week since we made the MRI appointment. Every morning I have had to continually given this over to God and yesterday I broke and sobbed uncontrollably for awhile. As much as I have tried to give it to God, I keep taking it back! I reach at my hand to hand it over, but I always pull back before it is handed over.
In church this month, our pastor has decided to take a break from the series of sermons he is preaching in Mark and focus on the responsibilities of the "church". Our church has grown tremendously in the last few years with many new believers. Today's sermon was entitled, "Messy" and focused on serving other. We started by reading Matthew 5:13-16. When I opened up my bible, there was a little box at the bottom of the page that said this:
Jacob has been having headaches and dizzy spells since he had his 3rd concussion in June. I have been putting off taking him to the doctor in hopes that the problem would stop with time. Well, it has gotten to the point where I could not avoid it anymore and I am forced to deal with a secret fear. The doctor has ordered a brain MRI to see what is going on and to RULE OUT the possibility of a Chiari Malformation, which can be genetic and why I had brain surgery five years ago. And then the secret was out! When the doctor told me we needed to do the MRI, I could feel the fear taking over and he could tell I wasn't comfortable with the idea. I absolutely do not want any of my children to have this problem. Back when I was diagnosed and we discovered it can be genetic, Jason and I discussed it and agreed we would never want to have the kids tested unless they were showing symptoms and now here we are.
I have gotten very little sleep this week since we made the MRI appointment. Every morning I have had to continually given this over to God and yesterday I broke and sobbed uncontrollably for awhile. As much as I have tried to give it to God, I keep taking it back! I reach at my hand to hand it over, but I always pull back before it is handed over.
In church this month, our pastor has decided to take a break from the series of sermons he is preaching in Mark and focus on the responsibilities of the "church". Our church has grown tremendously in the last few years with many new believers. Today's sermon was entitled, "Messy" and focused on serving other. We started by reading Matthew 5:13-16. When I opened up my bible, there was a little box at the bottom of the page that said this:
Worry...
compromises your
joy, cramps your
peace, and confines
your freedom.
-June Hunt
What does that have to do with serving???? Well, nothing, but it had everything to do with what I needed to hear this morning! Instead of trying to hand it over, I have dropped it at his feet. I refuse to be crippled by this anymore. So, what happens if Jacob tests positive? Then we deal with it, just like we dealt with it 5 years ago when this birth defect can into my life. I am done picking back up this fear every day and every year.
Does this mean I don't convet your prayers in the morning? Absolutely not! Please be praying at 10:15am tomorrow morning (Monday) for Jacob and for me. The MRI will take about an hour.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I have entered the dog world!
The main Christmas Present I gave my children looks like this: Her name is Twinkie and she is a 16-month old shihtzu. These pictures really show her big eyes. She has been a great addition to our family.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Looking forward to 2011
My family had a great time over Christmas Break. We spent a ton of time just hanging out. It was very relaxing. We started the vacation with Jessa's appointment at Children's Hospital. They really run a tight ship! We were there for three hours and accomplished so much. They ran several tests and all of them but the vitamin D levels came back normal. Her vitamin D level is low, but not that low, so a daily supplement should do the trick! We really aren't that sure what has caused all the brokedness, but at least we now know there isn't a problem.
I hope everyone had a wonderful and blessed Christmas and New Year. I am really looking forward to all the excitement that 2011 will surely bring. My family has seen it's share of brokedness over the last several years and I know we will find healing this year.
I hope everyone had a wonderful and blessed Christmas and New Year. I am really looking forward to all the excitement that 2011 will surely bring. My family has seen it's share of brokedness over the last several years and I know we will find healing this year.
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