What really is my faith?

This past week I have been blessed to chaperon our youth group on two separate trips. The first was to Silverwood. We had a great time just hangin' out and building relationships. I personally only went on two rides, but all the walking I did must have burned off at least a couple of hundred calories. I have a bad history of rides at Silverwood, since the corkscrew ride is what set off the birth defect in my brain 4 years ago, which caused me to have surgery a month later.

The other event was a youth all-nighter that I was only planning to stay at until around midnight, but ended up staying the entire time for. Wow, was I glad that I stayed. A big tradition that the kids look forward to every year is the "Underground Church" game. In a nut shell it a hide and seek game where there is a pastor, three bibles and all the youth hide and the cops (chaperons) have to find where the pastor or the three bibles are hidden.

In real life though there are many countries where underground churches are a big reality. This year's bible/video study focused on the underground church in Vietnam. Two years ago a christian organization took 8 teenagers there to bring bibles to the underground churches. The video series was amazing. The teenagers thought they were going to go there to minister, but they quickly realized that they were the ones being taught by God and the Vietnamese Christians.

In the very first segment we were introduced to the 8 teenagers and all I kept thinking was, "HOW COULD THERE PARENTS LET THEM DO THIS?" This mission had the potential to be very deadly for these teenagers. From the possibility of being caught in customs with over 500 bibles, to being caught in Vietnam in the underground churches. I really don't know if I would let my children do something like this. A nice tidy mission trip to England or Germany or any other relatively safe country, but to a communist country where they would be breaking the law? Not sure about that...

So for the last 36 hours, this has really been on my heart. Then today our pastor talked about sharing God with others, entitled "I am not afraid of the Gospel". He gave the analogy of a search party looking for a little girl in the woods, but all they did was go to the edge of the woods, make camp, have a BBQ, and every once in awhile the leader would shout out the girls name in case she could hear him. And isn't that what so many of our churches do? All the lost people are on the outside and if they come to us we will welcome them, but are we really out there looking for the lost people?

Sitting in church today, it was everything I could do keep from weeping. God really spoke to me about my faith. If God is truly the ruler of my life and I know that he is, THEN WHY WOULD I TELL HIM I DON'T TRUST HIM ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN? Oh sure I have no problem with a sweet little mission trip to somewhere nearby, or feel free to let them go anywhere safe, but God don't call my children to anywhere dangerous. I am not sure I have the faith for that!

I preach black and white to my children all the time. You are either lying or your not. The chores are either done correctly (meaning stuff ACTUALLY gets cleaned) or they aren't. There is no little-white lies, there is no in between. It either is or isn't. So why then do I tell God I trust him to watch over my children here, but not in a communist country? Do I believe he will be faithful in the US, but no where else? Absolutely not. It isn't God who has a faithfulness problem. That would be me.