Two hours ago I dropped my children off at their dad's. They are going out of town with him this year to (one of my best friend's house) Boise to celebrate Thanksgiving. They will be gone for four nights and over Thanksgiving. Normally, I do okay with dropping them off, but this time it was everything I could do, not to go back in that house and take my children home! Something just didn't feel right. I tried all the way home to get my emotions in check. I even stayed in the van for a little while longer when I got in the drive way. Michael W. Smith was singing, "You are holy", so I raised my hands and sang along.
I came in the house and I knew I needed to make myself something to eat, but I felt like anything that I ate would end up coming back up later. I decided on an almond butter and jelly sandwich and chips and salsa. Kevin came in the kitchen to chat with me and I just kept thinking, "Keep it together". Finally, Kevin said, "Are you okay?". And ladies, you would be so proud of me...I said "NO I AM NOT". I didn't even try to fake it. Let the tears flow!
So two hours later, I think I am back to normal. They are on the road and Jason said he would text me when they got there. I probably won't sleep until they get there. That's okay though because I need to finish my master's assignment that is due at midnight!
This is the one part about being divorced that I hate. Most thanksgivings the kids spent it with Jason, but this is the first time it has been out of town. I am really happy they are going to see "Uncle Mike and Auntie Erin". I just can't shake this awful feeling that it is mistake. Please keep my family in your prayers this week. Pray that I am just being "one of those mom's".
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I for you, know I have so much to be thankful for!
